The Responsibility of Parenting – Safeguarding
Trigger Warning: This article discusses themes of child sexual abuse and exploitation, amongst other sensitive topics that readers may find disturbing.
Islam is not merely a set of rituals or a theoretical framework of theology, but unfortunately for many today, this is what Islam has been reduced to; a person assumes they are a good Muslim simply because they perform outward acts of worship and acknowledge the basic tenets of faith. The reality though is that abstract knowledge does not equate to internalisation. Islam is meant to be a holistic way of life, starting from the smallest of everyday actions up to the grandest of convictions and sacrifices.
For this reason, the ritual acts of Islam and theological understanding cannot be made markers of one’s Islam in isolation of the way a person lives. Allah tells us, ‘And establish prayer for My remembrance.’[1] and Allah says, ‘Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allāh is greater. And Allāh knows that which you do.’[2] these verses show us that the prayer is a pillar which provides a balanced and upright life, not simply an act of ritual worship to be offered regardless of how one lives their life. The prayer established throughout the day reminds us of our purpose and should lead us to live a life of Taqwā (righteousness) in between the prayers.
In a famous narration collected by Bukhari, a man asked the Prophet ﷺ about the Hour (i.e. the day of Judgment) saying, ‘When will the Hour be?’ The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘What have you prepared for it?’ The man said, ‘Nothing, except that I love Allah and His Apostle.’ The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘You will be with those whom you love.’ This hadith shows that knowledge of the hour, although intriguing, is unnecessary knowledge for most (beyond what is necessary to establish belief), and that which is important is preparation for the hour i.e. how we live our lives. The hadith also shows that the understanding of tenets of theology alone is not sufficient, but the internalisation is what will save us!
An aspect of living as Muslims that we see being neglected today and unfortunately becoming common within our various communities – even by those who are keen in their prayers and acts of ritual worship! – is the obligation of parenting. Allah says, ‘O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.’[3].This verse clearly informs us as Muslims that we are not only held responsible by Allah for ourselves but also for our families – in particular our children and our homes. Ibn Umar – may Allah be pleased with him – said: ‘Allah only named them Al-Abrar (the righteous) because they were dutiful to both their parents and their children. Just as your parent has a right over you, your child also has a right over you.’[4].
Parenting is not simply to nourish and sustain a child.
We focus heavily on the rights of parents within our lectures and sermons, but what is of equal importance (perhaps currently of more importance due to the times we face) are the rights our children have over us. Parenting is not simply to nourish and sustain a child; parenting is to raise them.
From the general areas and rights a parent must focus on with their children is education, showing them love and mercy, guiding them toward proper conduct and character, teaching them the correct etiquettes of Islam, helping them to find their purpose and direction, offering sound and honest advice when it is required, finding suitable spouses for them when they reach the age of marriage and are ready, and equipping them with principles to make the right decisions. All of which require presence and proactive involvement, all of which are far more important than feeding and clothing. Numayr ibn Aws – may Allah have mercy upon him – said, ‘They used to say, ‘Correct action is a gift from Allah, but adab (etiquettes and conduct) comes from the parents.’[5].
From The Responsibility of Parenting is Safeguarding
In addition to the above, perhaps one of the most important duties that falls upon parents today, is the duty of safeguarding. Just as rituals without character are empty, parenting without active, protective caution is a failure of the trust (Amanah) given to us by Allah. Safeguarding is not a modern concept, but it’s a core duty and a part of Islam, the bulk of which falls on the man. It is one of the areas of responsibility that we have increasingly fallen short in within our communities as of late.
Safeguarding is essentially the protection of our children from the dangers and harms they may face in relation to the context and environment of the times. We find in a very well know narration of The Prophet ﷺ a clear instruction toward such safeguarding. Heﷺ said: ‘Command your children to pray when they are seven years old, and discipline them for [neglecting] it when they are ten and separate them in their beds.’[6]. We often cite this hadith for guidance on when our children should be taught about prayer etc, but it also explicitly mentions separating between our children in their beds. One of the reasons for this being to safeguard from any ill behaviour that may occur.
The significant role of men in Safeguarding
The responsibility of safeguarding in our communities and homes is a shared one, but the lion’s share of this responsibility belongs to the men. Allah The Almighty says, ‘Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard…’[7]. Allah explicitly refers to the men as protectors and maintainers and instructs women to guard in the absence of the men that which Allah has instructed them to guard, all of which falls under the concept of safeguarding.
The Prophet ﷺ said: ‘Indeed, Allah will question every caretaker about what he was entrusted with – whether he preserved it or neglected it – He will even question a man concerning the members of his household.’[8].There is a clear correlation between the failure to uphold proper standards of safeguarding within our communities and the increasing issue of absent fathers. Statistics presented by ACT[9] show that children who come from absent father homes are more likely and prone to behavioural problems, poor academic performance, exploitation and abuse (higher risk of sexual, physical and emotional abuse), issues of self-esteem and are more likely to become involved in crime, youth crime and gang violence (including becoming criminally or sexually exploited. They are also more likely to carry weapons, engage in violence and associate with gangs or other criminal groups). Children from fatherless homes are more at risk of drug and alcohol abuse, mental health issues, and they are generally prone to lesser life opportunities[10]. Girls from fatherless homes are more prone to young pregnancy and promiscuity and they become prone to exploitation by adult men because of the emotional loss of their father. Boys from such homes are more prone to going on to become perpetrators of physical abuse against their own wives and children in the future[11].
The above highlights the deficit we place our communities into when a man is not present in the home, and active in raising his children. To lead a home and community is not simply to give instructions and commands, it is to be present, to set an example and to put in place boundaries and measures of protection in line with our God-given framework of Islam.
The Reward for The Ever-present Parent
Raising our children well and providing them with the care, and protection they need falls under showing them mercy, it is a mercy to protect them from the dangers of this world and to provide them with a platform for future success in this life and the next. Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, ‘Anyone who has three daughters and provides for them, clothes them and shows mercy to them will definitely enter the Garden.’ A man from the people said, ‘And two daughters, Messenger of Allah?’ He said, ‘And two.’[12]. Such a significant reward is given to successfully raising daughters, as it is a significant and lifelong task and role!
Safeguarding Today
Though there are many important areas of concern when it comes to safeguarding, and each area deserves its own detailed attention, for the brevity of this article, we will outline and briefly discuss some of the most important areas to be addressed today. We can break the main categories of safeguarding into two distinct categories, online and offline.
Online: The Digital World
This includes digital devices themselves, social media apps, game consoles and general access to the internet and digital media. The risks are many, mental health issues, grooming issues, sexual exploitation and exposure to graphic content, addiction, learned negative behaviours and so on. Below are some statistics and examples that highlight the severity of the dangers, to which many of us have become oblivious.
Risks of Addiction & Mental Health Issues
For some alarming context, Mandy Saligari, A Harley Street Clinical director in an opinion piece for The Independent stated, ‘I always say to people, when you’re giving your kid a tablet or a phone, you’re really giving them a bottle of wine or a gram of coke’[13]. It would be clear negligence and abuse to give a child alcohol or drugs, but we don’t think of digital devices in the same way, yet they can be far more harmful long-term. A study in the US found teenagers who spend five or more hours a day on electronic devices are 71% more likely to have a risk factor for suicide than those who spend less than an hour a day.[14]
Exposure to Sexual Content
On the risk of exposure to sexual content, a survey conducted in 2017 of more than 1,500 teachers, found that around two-thirds said they were aware of pupils sharing sexual content, with as many as one in six of those involved of primary school age[15]. A survey of parents found that 75% of parents surveyed believe their children have never been exposed to it[16]. In a survey conducted on school children by the UK Government, nearly 90% of girls, and nearly 50% of boys said being sent explicit pictures or videos of things they did not want to see (including graphic sexual images), happens a lot, or sometimes to them or their peers.[17]
Online Grooming
Grooming of various kinds takes place online. A prevalent type of grooming, especially amongst boys (but not exclusive to them) is grooming carried out by criminal gangs. Statistics cited by Unseen[18] show that between 2017 and 2022, online grooming crimes surged by 82%, with 73% involving platforms such as Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp. Unseen explicitly state online platforms as fertile ground for county lines exploitation (which most of the time involves children).
Exploitation & Gaming Forums
Another serious and real risk is the exposure of our children to sadistic groups, cults and online groomers through gaming forums and chat platforms. ‘Don’t assume they’re safe in their room,’ said Sally, the mother of a teenage boy who was arrested in connection with an offence of encouraging suicide. He was groomed through online gaming[19]. In a more recent case, a man was arrested for grooming a girl through Roblox, a very popular game played by children worldwide. An article for ABC News titled, ‘Roblox is played by 90 million users daily but in the dark corners of chat rooms, danger lurks for young players’ reported that ‘Roblox is played by 90 million users daily but in the dark corners of chat rooms, danger lurks for young players.’[20].
ITV News reports that in 2026 ‘Alleged Roblox-related incidents across England and Wales are up 87% in a year, with the youngest victim reported to police aged just five years old.’[21].In the same article, ITV gained access to redacted Police crime logs and found among them allegations of adults engaging children in sexualised conversations, requesting explicit images, and attempting to move conversations off the platform[22].
Gambling
With the ease of access to apps and websites, and the modern gamification of gambling[23], gambling has now become a serious risk for children and young adults. The Independent Newspaper reports: ‘According to a 2025 report by the Gambling Commission, young people are more likely to be exposed to gambling-related advertisements online, and specifically via social media (49 per cent) or apps (47 per cent). The report shows that three in 10 (30 per cent) 11 to 17-year-olds had spent their own money on any gambling activity, with boys (34 per cent) more likely than girls (27 per cent). This represents an increase from 27 per cent in 2024 and is largely driven by a rise in unregulated gambling.[24]. The article cites a recent survey on Gambling in Great Britain reported that 10 per cent of 18 – 24-year-old gamblers are now classified as problem gamblers i.e. they have an addiction![25].
Social Influencers Mediums of Negative Influence
Another issue of concern is the exposure of children and young adults to online ‘influencers’. Such individuals – generally speaking – are the clowns of today’s courtyard: the courtyard of attention. They expose our children to various problems such as materialism, lewd and inappropriate behaviour, negative attitudes, egocentrism, unrealistic expectations of life and emotional expectations to name but a few. Are we not negligent if we allow our children to view content from people we wouldn’t allow into our own homes?
Ideally, smart devices should be delayed for as long as possible. Research suggests smart device use prior to the age of 14 years old has a significant impact on the mental health of children, but if they are to be given smart devices, parental apps and explicit restrictions on social media, forums, adult-intended content and searches and other such spaces should be in place.[26]
Offline: The Real World
Safeguarding in the everyday lives of our children and families in our homes, schools and communities is as important as online safeguarding. This includes putting measures in place that protect our children and also monitoring and being involved in their everyday lives.
Safeguarding in the Home
The main area and most alarming that needs to be addressed before anything else is sexual abuse. A UK government report conducted in 2020 states that ‘children sexually abused by family members are going unseen and unheard in too many cases, while abusers evade justice’. The report also outlines that ‘familial abuse accounts for some two thirds of all child sex abuse, though the true figure could be even higher due to under-reporting. Despite the likely extent of the problem, local and national strategies to tackle it are virtually non-existent.’[27].
It is with heavy hearts that we must face the reality of the fact that Muslim communities and homes are not free of this evil behaviour. How anyone can consider themselves a Muslim and sexually abuse children is itself an outrageous contradiction of identity, but it is not the topic of discussion. As has been highlighted familial abuse makes up at least two thirds of all child sexual abuse, which points to an absolute breach of trust by close family members. Through my own experience in dealing with such cases, the perpetrators are often very closely related to the parents and therefore strict measures must be put in place. This is something we would assume is impossible for a Muslim to engage in, but has become a disease causing spiritual and emotional sickness throughout our communities.
Trust is No Longer a Given
Public advice when given must be general, and unfortunately due to the times we live in, trust is not a given; therefore, the advice must be that our children should not be left unattended with males (even if they are close relatives – yes exceptions exist, but general advice is not based on the exceptions), visitors, neighbours, and importantly other children from the opposite gender. Leaving our children, especially girls, unattended with males – including relatives – may be a form of neglect and considered a lack of carrying out due responsibility as parents.
Safeguarding at School
Another area of safeguarding perhaps neglected due to the trust we place in teachers, is the school.A poll of female staff conducted two years ago reported that ‘sexual harassment is still ‘rife’ in UK schools’[28], with pupils being reported for sexual harassment of teachers, some of those reported were in year 5 at the time. If this is happening with female staff, what about female students?
A written submission of evidence from Rape Crisis England and Wales reported that sexual harassment and sexual violence are routine and every day in schools across England and Wales. The overwhelming number of perpetrators are men and boys and are alarmingly both staff and students, and the overwhelming number of victims are women and girls, again both staff and students[29].
The same submission cited a study for the NSPCC that found nearly a quarter (24.1%) of young adults aged 18-24 reported having experienced sexual abuse by an adult or peer in childhood. The report also found that teenage girls aged 15-17 reported the highest rates of sexual abuse at the time and more than 4 in 10 teenage schoolgirls in England have suffered sexual coercion[30].
Are we obliviously placing our children in harms way here? What can we do? At the very least, speak to them about the dangers of our times, let them know that they can speak to us and tell us about anything that may have happened which made them feel uncomfortable, regardless of what it may have been. Regularly speak to them about their day, their teachers, and their friends. Be involved in their lives beyond the traditional duties of parenting, be a friend and a place of trust that they can turn to.
We also need to teach our children about boundaries regarding their private areas and bodies from a young age, Masajid and institutions should also be proactive in setting up workshops regarding this topic and educating the community on boundaries within Islam.
Safeguarding at The Masjid & Islamic Schools
It is a sign of the morally deprived times we are living in that we have to even consider safeguarding our children from ill-intended and sick attendees, but this is where we have arrived. Even the house of Allah and institutions of Islam are not safe from defilement.
An independent inquiry into child protection in religious organisations and settings was conducted in the year 2021[31],Professor Alexis Jay, Chair of the Inquiry said: ‘Religious organisations are defined by their moral purpose of teaching right from wrong and protection of the innocent and the vulnerable, however, when we heard about shocking failures to prevent and respond to child sexual abuse across almost all major religions, it became clear many are operating in direct conflict with this mission.’ IICSA’s investigation examined child protection in 38 religious organisations and settings in England and Wales (including Mosques and Islamic Schools) and found that there was ‘no doubt that the sexual abuse of children takes place in a broad range of religious settings.’
A case highlighted in the report that stands out to us as Muslims was that of a girl abused and raped at a supplementary Islamic School in a Mosque converted from a house. She was subjected to this horrific abuse between the ages of eight and eleven. The report mentions that after disclosing the abuse, it was dismissed and she was labelled a ‘slag’ in her community![32]. The inquiry definitively states that ‘we have seen egregious failings by a number of religious organisations, and cases of child sexual abuse perpetrated by their adherents.’ This failure to protect is heavily compounded by a toxic culture of preservation. The inquiry explicitly highlighted that notions of cultural ‘honour,’ social standing, and an obsession with outward purity are used to silence victims.
It is not only sexual abuse that is a concern, but also physical abuse. An older report by the BBC highlighted that at the time, ‘more than 400 allegations of physical abuse were reported in the space of three years within Islamic supplementary schools’[33].
We have seen in the last few years several high-profile cases involving Imams, Quran teachers, and community leaders. I have myself had to deal with cases of abuse involving victims that were sexually abused by Quran teachers, relatives (including fathers and grandfathers!) and attendees of Mosque communities.
The reality of such cases is that the blame does not lie solely with these sick individuals, but with institutions, parents, and communities for the negligence and lack of adequate safeguarding measures being put in place. Some will dismiss such reporting as an attempt to dirty the name of Islam and Muslim communities, but those who work on the ground with our institutions know that these incidents reported are in fact very likely to be the surface layer of what has become an unaddressed pit of abuse.
What can we do? As Individuals
Do not leave our children unattended in Masajid, regardless of how pious we assume the attendees to be. Do not trust the teachers beyond teaching, and do not leave children unattended with teachers alone. We should not allow our children to study the Quran or any other subjects privately in a private space, especially not a person’s home – regardless of who they are. If abuse has taken place, report it! Do not allow anyone to shame you into silence, it does not matter who they are and what standing they may have in the community.
What can we do? As Institutions
We need to make sure all of our Imams, teachers, and staff within our institutions and masajid are checked. DBS’s must be in place, security measures and safeguarding policies and protocols must be a priority. A zero-tolerance culture towards breaches of safeguarding must be developed, and we must hold ourselves accountable. It is an Amanah (responsibility)!
Safeguarding Vulnerable Women
It is also important to note here that safeguarding is not only of our children, but of the vulnerable within our communities. Women fall into this category, and we have seen a lot of women being taken advantage of by members of our broader Muslim community. Women form the backbone of a stable community. When the backbone is mistreated, the rest of the body will suffer with subsequent injuries. The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘O Allah, I declare inviolable the rights of the two weak ones: the orphans and women’[34]. The Prophet ﷺ also said, ‘Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah’[35].
Safeguarding women is an action of Taqwa. Marrying the vulnerable simply for gratification of physical desires is contradictory of this, preying on the lonely and impoverished, whether in the UK or in other countries, physically harming them or psychologically harming them is also contradictory of taqwa. Taqwa is not simply to pray and fast, and read The Quran, these actions are mediums of acquiring Taqwa – they are not in and of themselves markers of Taqwa. True taqwa is what happens in between the prayers, safeguarding our community is a part of this.
In conclusion, The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or he is an oppressed one.’ People asked, ‘O Allah’s Messenger ﷺ! It is all right to help him if he is oppressed, but how should we help him if he is an oppressor?’ The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘By preventing him from oppressing others’[36]. Let us be from those who help the oppressed and prevent the oppressors, and may Allah protect us from being a part of any oppression that takes place on this earth.
Imam Ashraf Dabous
[1] Taha, verse 14, The Quran
[2] al-‘Ankabut, verse 45, The Quran
[3] At-Tahrim, Verse 6, The Quran
[4] al-Adab al-Mufrad
[5] al-Adab al-Mufrad
[6] Sunan Abi Dawud
[7] An-Nisa, Verse 34, The Quran
[8] Muslim
[9] A UK based youth development company
[10] https://www.actcic.org.uk/fatherless-home
[11] https://www.actcic.org.uk/fatherless-home/
[12] Al-Adab al-Mufrad, with variations collected elsewhere such as Musnad Imam Ahmad
[13] https://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/child-smart-phones-cocaine-addiction-expert-mandy-saligari-harley-street-charter-clinic-technology-teenagers-a7777941.html
[14] https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/may/24/smartphone-teen-suicide-mental-health-depression
[15] https://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/pupils-sexual-content-classroom-teachers-warn-smartphone-children-nasuwt-police-a7680806.html
[16] https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/child-and-adolescent-psychiatry/articles/10.3389/frcha.2025.1567649/full
[17] https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/review-of-sexual-abuse-in-schools-and-colleges/review-of-sexual-abuse-in-schools-and-colleges
[18] A UK Charity tackling Modern Slavery, Exploitation and Human Trafficking
[19] https://news.sky.com/story/gamifying-abuse-the-sadistic-online-groups-where-children-trade-harmful-content-for-status-13499988
[20] https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-12-02/roblox-9-year-old-child-targeted-by-sexual-predator/104659312
[21] https://www.itv.com/news/2026-07-08/its-where-predators-get-children-mums-roblox-warning-over-grooming-risks
[22] https://www.itv.com/news/2026-07-08/its-where-predators-get-children-mums-roblox-warning-over-grooming-risks
[23] https://connexontario.ca/blog/gamification-gambling-effects/
[24] https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/youth-unemployment-crisis-neet-online-gambling-b2986052.html
[25] https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/youth-unemployment-crisis-neet-online-gambling-b2986052.html
[26] There are many very good parental apps for smart devices today such as Qustodio. These apps should be in place until our children are considered young adults!
[27] https://www.gov.uk/government/news/unseen-evil-sex-abuse-in-families-going-under-the-radar-say-inspectorates
[28] https://www.theguardian.com/education/article/2024/jun/18/sexual-harassment-still-rife-in-uk-schools-poll-of-female-staff-finds
[29] https://committees.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/67918/pdf/
[30] https://committees.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/67918/pdf/
[31] https://www.iicsa.org.uk/reports-recommendations/publications/investigation/cp-religious-organisations-settings/executive-summary.html
[32] https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/sep/02/millions-children-religious-groups-vulnerable-abuse-england-and-wales#:~:text=The%20Independent%20Inquiry%20into%20Child%20Sexual%20Abuse,from%20wrong%2C%20yet%20fail%20to%20protect%20children.
[33] https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-15256764
[34] An-Nasa-i
[35] Muslim
[36] Bukhari